leaving our nest

For the last four years we have been a part of a family.A small and unique school that offers our children a bilingual education.But it is so much more than that.During a chat with friends tonight ,who are also fellow parents,it was agreed that our children do not function as part of their class or their grade.They function as a school.All the children in Henrys year and up he has known for years and can chat and play with any of them.Of course he is the closest to those he spends five days a week with and ,in a class of currently 13,that is the way you would hope it to be.

Oliver has enjoyed this environment for the last two years and it never occured to me that anything would ever really change.Unfortunately for the children( and us) this year has been really really hard  and like so many others around the world this year,we have had to make some changes.By far the hardest has been the decision to leave this lovely little school.We kept putting it off but eventually it was the only decision left to make.The only decision that would allow the boys to do all the other things they want to participate in.The only decision that would remove a constant financial stress hanging over our heads.

But I hate it.I am angry with my husband for not doing better,angry with myself for not doing better,angry with the financial crappy crisis that swept through so many industries,angry at the women who compared my dolls to a brand that pumps dolls out in china (and sells them for half the price) the other week.I am absolutely furious with everything and everyone and its becoming hard to stop.Stress is a monster.

 I have just spent the last hour with an hysterically sobbing child.He is angrier than I could ever be.He is confused and frightened and wants to stay where he is.Where he is happy and feels secure.We have three weeks left until the end of the school year and he is dreading it.I have never felt so completely useless and inept.There is nothing I can tell him because there is no good reason,as far as he is concerned,for them both to be moving schools.And to add insult to injury they are only going up the street.So close its cruel.I asked him to be brave and tried to tell him about the things he can do at the new school and all the people he will meet but he wants none of it.He wants to stay in his little nest.One of the things he is most upset about is not learning in his second language.He makes perfect sense.

I know it will be hard but I also feel that it will be ok.Hopefully it will be better than ok and they will have new opportunities.The language will go backwards for Oliver most likely and hopefully stay where it is for Henry but we have to accept that.Accept that ,at this stage, we have failed the hopes we had for their education.Accept that right now,we suck.

Because sometimes life really does.I just feel that its getting a little regular around here.

Sorry for the blah but blah is all I've got right now.

Comments

[Vicky Hernandez]

Hi Clare,

Sorry to heard you family it is in stress.We all have to face difficult situations to battle through our lives and I personally belive that they are there to make us stronger If we do not give up in hope .
Keep a positive thinking.

[Charlotte]

I really feel for you, your blood must be boiling. However it's not all hopeless. You and your husband are the greatest influence on your children and that doesn't cost a penny. Good luck :)

[Pipany]

Oh, big hug to you Claire. I feel for you, but you have to do what you have to do. Much love xx

[Celine]

Oh I so feel for you life is so bl%$$£y unfair sometimes. The situation is similar on this side of the world too. Lots of job uncertainty and prices which still go up and up. My daughter all time favourite sport activity is doubbling in price in January.... (and it is a council run activity!). On a positive note, we had to move country for 1 year for job reasons. We were sooo sooo worried about my son having to go to school in a language he understood but had never spoken. Well, he is the one who adapted the quickest by far out of all of us!

[Tracey]

I know I don't know you, and I know we'll never meet, but please know that right now I want to give you a great big hug. There. That's the only constructive thing I can say or do.

[Lesley]

I like Charlottes comment about you and your husband being the greatest influence that is so true and as long as they are safe and loved then everything else - no matter how hard it is at the time - can be dealt with as the strong family unit you are .... I feel for you so much going through this its so horrid feeling so helpless but it will get better I am sure xxxxxx

[Selina]

I'm sorry.

[joanna]

((((hugs fo all)))))
This too will pass.

[Bianca]

You guys don't suck! Hopefully the boys will have a ball at their new school (remember it has a big hall with a stage ;) ) xxx

[Melinda]

Claire,Im sure you will be amazed at the resilance of your boys and how they settle into their new lives - the idea of change is the worst but before you know it they will have new friends and life will great. In times of stress I always stay immensely grateful for good health and that we're all safe together - in the end it is the big one.
But many good thoughts to you for" bad day" feelings!
xx

[monica]

we had to make a move too, three years ago, that didn't make sense to our boys and which they found quite hard.

but you know... I think it was harder for me than for them... they adjusted to the new place much quicker than I did and than I thought...

my thoughts are with you, it's hard and horrible and unfair... but you have each other and it'll turn out fine in the end..

[Kirsty]

Claire, I was so sad to read this post, please don't beat yourself up about it - your boys have had a great headstart, the new school may not be your first choice, but it will have it's good points too, and you know children are extremely adaptable. Things will be fine, remember you have your health and each other!! Big love to you xx

[Kelly]

Hi Claire
I moved schools A LOT when I was younger and I'm sure I'm stronger for it (and I was shy). I stressed a bit when my daughter started at her first (and foreign to her) school, but she's such a resilient little monkey that she just got stuck straight in and now loves it. And to think I was worried. I agree with one of the earlier comments - you and your husband provide a wonderful home for your boys and this is priceless. You can only do what is in your reach and in a few days hopefully you won't feel quite so upset. It's amazing what time can do. :)

[Isabella Golightly]

Hi Claire
We moved a lot when I was little (I had 7 primary schools, my sister had 9) and although it's hard, you'll be surprised at how well they bounce back - the best thing you can do is to make sure they keep in touch with their friends from the old school, and also to do what you can to help them keep up with their Italian.

Also, just being there for them and not making a huge big deal about it will help them work through it, but I'm quite sure you know this already. Keep your chin up.

[laura]

Oh dear, I really feel for you guys and especially your children. What an unbelievably hard and awful decision to have to make. But, what you are doing is so enormously brave and strong and i am absolutely definite that your children will benefit in a million and one ways. Thinking of you and sending you a hug.

[melissa]

That really sucks! I'm sorry it has worked out like this for your boys right now. I know it doesn't make it better to say they will adjust and experience new things, but you'll see, they will be happy again soon. I hated it when we moved to California, then back to Virginia and then to Georgia (I'm still working on this last move), but there have been so many new people, new experiences that we really would have missed out on. At the time, I would have punched anyone who told me that it would be a good thing, but fortunately they were right:) I wish I had tons of money because I would just share it with you guys and problem solved! Maybe things will work out for them to go back to their school in the not so distant future? You never can tell what time will bring- stay positive and keep your chin up- we're all in this mess right now and we'll all get out of it in time. I don't know which dolls yours were compared to, but I haven't seen any like yours- your original and your creations are way cool! Just to let you know, each time we've moved, my son has taken about 3 weeks at his new school to start feeling like he's adjusted and start inviting kids over to play. The whole key is finding someone to buddy around with- so I have always searched and come early those first few weeks. We've always managed to find a few friendly kids and moms that way. Remember, those other moms know how you are feeling and they will be there to help get a conversation going with their guys too.

[corrie]

oh big hugs. Don't be so hard on yourself. You're not the first parent to do this.

take it easy, we missed you yesterday at our craft room

Corrie:)

[Vicky Hernandez]

Hi Clare,
How is your sewing going?

Please post some pics.

LOVE

Vicky

[jayne McGreal]

I know it's no help, but I weep with you about this. Life can suck as you say. Life can also shine and Shine brightly. You Ms Clare are one of our shiniest.
Lots of love xx

[sam]

Oh Clare I am so sorry to read this. What an awful decision to have to make. But you and your husband don't suck. Parents who care so much about their children's feelings and education definitely don't suck. I hope you all start to feel better about the new situation soon. Thinking of you, Sam.